CUSSING TODD

Well, Hello there ! I am so excited to see that you decided to come back and visit ! I have a really great adventure to share with you, so buckle up, it’s going to be hell a FUN! OK, before we go any further, I need to give a disclaimer, that I should probably include in every article I write, because it is who I am…..and that my friend, is a cusser. I say bad words in my article, blogs, posts, whatever the hell you choose to call them, I like to use bad words, so get ready for some F Bombs!

This particular trip was one of our most talked about to this day, it was in 2020, right before the Covid hit, for reals, and you could still hang out with your friends and go to restaurants and such. Which brings me to…….Drumroll please …..introducing you to our very best Friends in the whole entire fucking world, Rick And Cindy 🙂 These are two are my favorite humans ! They have gone on many a camping trip with us, and this one was very memorable!

So we decided to visit the Crossville TN area, where we wanted to go camping, Kayaking, drinking, and have some fun. At the time of this trip, we still had the Jeep Wrangler and our popup. Cindy and I rode in the back of the jeep, with the top down , and got our poor ole ears beat to shit! The wind was giving our head and ears a lashing. We pretty much had cauliflower ears by the time we made it to the campground. anty-waze, we made it. Davy Crockett Campground in Crossville, TN. Damn, look at me showing a link that you can click on, I’m smart as hell! It was a very nice campground with several amenities, but due to Covid, some of them were closed, such as the swimming pool, and the hot tub. Scott and I set up camp while our trusty friends went to Rick’s favorite hang out, you may have heard of it, Wal-Mart, to scoop up food and beer. We had a pretty mellow evening , due to the fact that the next morning we where going kayaking in Silver Point TN on the Caney River.

Day 2 of the trip…. We get up and have a delicious breakfast prepared by our resident chef, Scotty so Hottie, my hubby, and hit the road to Silverton TN. We arrived at the gathering place where a bus would take us to the site you put your kayak in, about a 20 minute ride…Again this was during covid and we had to wear a mask, that came in handy later that day , stay with me , and you’re in for a treat for that TALE!! So, the kayaking trip was a BLAST!!! It was more of a float that an actual kayaking adventure. We tied our kayaks together and had beverages and met some cool people on the river. You know, people on the river are happy to give.. Now that song is in your head, You’re Welcome. We met a couple of young men that offered us some adult beverages, which is allowed on this river, as long as you don’t act a fool, and they where quite fun. I hate to admit that I don’t remember the fella that was the “talker”of the two, but I do remember his friends name, because when he told his name was Tap, I of course said “as in Tap dat Ass”, and we became best friends then and there.

After our float, we decided to go into the town of Cookville TN and get a bite to eat and visit a couple of breweries. Now for the story about our mandated covid masks, or gators , as they are called…. Thanks for sticking around , by the way! We are big fans of the Hit show ” The Handmaid’s Tale”. We decided to recreate a small portion of the show, using the above mentioned masks, with me being “OF Ricky”. This is one of my favorite pictures ever of the three of us. I LOVE the fact that I am this imaginary handmaid that Ricky and His Wife have decided to take pity on, and take her on a little vacation however, she still has to wear the head covering that is required. Just look at the the joy on their damn faces, and I being the lowly handmaid has to pray that I may be worthy of his seed… under his eye, may the Lord open… if you know, you know.

Now to that evening , which is another great story, due to TODD, CUSSING TODD , THUS EXPLAINING THE TITLE OF MY LATEST BLOG. Let me set the scene for you…. Ricky was getting a nice fire started for us, Cindy and I where in the popup fiddle farting around, and Scott was probably at the bathhouse. I come bee bopping out of the camper, and Rick is talking to a fellow camper, and introduces me to TODD! Let me tell you about good ole TODD! He was a man in his 50’s if I had to guess, medium build, dark hair, average looking guy, however, TODD! was not your average, well cusser. He is the hero of cussing, he makes an art of cussing , a connoisseur of curse words. Now , don’t get me wrong, Todd was a very nice man. He gave us firewood that he cut himself, and asked if we needed anything to sure to let him know. Now, I must say, if you are offended by foul language, it’s prob time you stopped reading, cause it’s about to get real! I will recreate the encounter that I had with the infamous TODD at this time…

Rick: Hey Cathy this is TODD, our neighbor, he was nice enough to give us some firewood.

Me: HI TODD! It’s nice to meet you, and Thank You for the firewood , that was very kind.

TODD: Oh shit yeah, nice to meet you too fuck damn, AWWW, shit, damn fuck, it’s nothing! I cut that shit all damn day, shit I just wanted y’all to have some fucking firewood.

Me: (trying not to laugh or be in awe of TODD’s eloquent way of using so many curse words in a sentence) Oh well, we really appreciate it. Would you like to stay and have a drink around the fire with us?

Rick: Yeah man, that’s the least we could do for you being so kind to give us firewood.

TODD: Fuck, man, that’s real nice of you shit, but damnm hell, I better get on back , shit, that fuck damn firewood ain’t gonna cut it’s fucking self!

Me: Hope you have a good rest of your evening , and thanks again!

Rick: Nice to meet you Todd, if you change your mind, come on over!

TODD: Shit, fuck, damn ,man, it was so nice to meet y’all too, hell, y’all are really some fucking nice people!

I SWEAR ON DUCT TAPE AND ALL ITS USES, the man talked exactly like that, and he will forever be known in our hearts as ” shit fuck damn TODD! I even had coffee mugs made for Christmas presents. TODD will never know the impact he has had on our lives!!

This was one of my favorite camping trips with stories to last us a very long time. We have had many more trips since then, and they have all had their share of adventures as well! I will be writing more about of our past trips soon, so don’t change that dial! Come on back ever once and a while and see if the cussing Cathy has added a new story, and also check out Scott’s!! He is much better at this than I am, and he tells you all about the campgrounds, the breweries we visit, you know, the deets. I tell you all about the crazy things we get ourselves into, and the great, or in some cases, not so great people we meet. So I better stop for now, my shitty typing skills are starting to piss me off, and I am in need of a beer and a nap, not necessarily in that order. Until next time my friends, shit fuck damn …..ADVENTURE ON!!!!