Focus Brandon Focus

Hello to you my friends. I see that you have returned yet again for another story , and I must apologize for my absence as of late, life gets in the way at times, and to tell the truth, I’ve been a tad bit lazy. I am planning on blogging more often, at least once a week, because I just know you are anxiously awaiting my superior story telling abilities. As always, know that there will be curse words in this story, it’s just what I do.

Today’s tale will be about Scott and I purchasing our Grey Wolf Camper, our big mansion on the wheels, or at least that is what it is to us. If you have read any of my blogs, then you know there is a funny story behind it, and I shall commence with telling said story now.

So as many of you already know, we had a small popup camper for 3 years. I loved that little popup. We had some really fun times in it, and it was easy to pull with the Jeep Wrangler we had at the time. It had 2 beds, a Coleman stove you took outside to cook, and was fine for the two of us . After talking it over , like grownups do, we decided we wanted to upgrade to something bigger and have a BATHROOM. That was the top of the list for me. Most campgrounds we took the popup to had decent bath houses, but not all. Now, I am not too good to go to a bathhouse, , however when you have to piss at 3:00 in the morning and on your walk to the bathhouse, a Giant Raccoon scurries out and scares the holy shit out of you, or it is pouring down rain, that ain’t cool.


Scott started doing research on the camper that we wanted. Now let me tell you a little about Mr Scott. He is the research King. He will look online for weeks searching for exactly what he wants, he will know every detail about what it is he is interested in purchasing, and I mean everything even more than the salesperson, I shit you not! When he felt he had narrowed it down to what we both wanted, he started researching who had it in stock. We started in our hometown, of course, but inventory was in the shitter at all the camping stores in our area. Then he widened the search to outside our little town. Okay, need to back up a little, sometimes I Get ahead of myself.

To appropriately equipoise the heft of said camper that we hoped to acquire, it was imperative that we obtained another mode of transport. Damn listen to that fancy ass talk. In other words, we need a bigger rig. Scotts dream vehicle was a Jeep Gladiator. I remember the gleam is his eye when the Jeep Gladiator was just a concept vehicle. The proverbial kid in a candy store. So you can guess what he wanted to haul our soon to be new camper.

Research man strikes again! Weeks I tell ya, weeks. As a happily married couple we are very lucky to have so many things in common, but that is not one of them. I buy on emotion , and sometimes on impulse, I am glad he is more fastidious about that than moi.

Let’s talk about the Jeep first. He Finally found the Jeep of his dreams, it was everything he wanted, including, but not limited to , Color, screen display, soft top, and most importantly, me looking good behind the wheel, which isn’t hard to do, have you seen me? Just kidding, it was actually the Max Tow package. Had to have that to pull the size camper we wanted. There was one caveat…. We had to drive to BFE to get it, if you know, you know. Hazard County KY. No sorry, it’s not the county where the good ole Duke boys burned rubber on dirt, and made impossible jumps in the General Lee , that was a made up place. ANTY-WAZE , Tim Short Jeep Chrysler Dodge is where the dream vehicle was waiting. Scott was able to communicate via text message with Joe, the salesman , which I affectionally refered to as “Joe Blow from kokomo” , as I am a huge fan of the book Misery By Stephen King.

Now back to the camper. Scott found the EXACT camper we wanted in Cookeville TN, which is about 2 hours from us. He had set up an appointment with a salesperson , again via text message , so we hit the road to Hazard with a pitstop in Cookeville RV and Marine. When we arrived, someone was there to greet us and we asked for the presence of Brandon. Brandon is late 20’s if I had to guess, good looking young man, and polite. Brandon had , as my Stepdad likes to say a Dilemba. He had lost his cell phone, and he wasn’t happy about that fact. Bless his little heart he patted his shirt pockets, pants pockets, front and back, he looked on every square inch of his desk, opened every drawer, no stone unturned . He was distracted , as you can imagine.. He finally gathered himself enough to show us around the lot in a golf cart.

We looked at 10 or so campers , with Brandon patting his shirt pocket, just in case he missed it the other 7634 times he had felt for it. They actually did not have the very one we wanted, however, Brandon was sure they had one coming in, but to our dismay there was a deposit on it. And of course my thought was, then why in the hell did we come up here, and why did he say he had the one ? So, we go back to the office, Brandon still looking for his cell phone saying his wife was going to kill him, sat and had a chat. At this point I said ” Focus Brandon Focus”. He looked up their incoming inventory , and did not have one arriving anytime soon, so I told Scott, well we will just go elsewhere to purchase it. We said our Thank You’s and Goodbyes and headed for the rolling hills of Kentucky .

About an hour into our trip to KY, a modern day miracle occurred. The cellphone rings, and guess who it was on the other line? You guessed it BRANDON! Yes he found his cell phone! I had to know where he found it, and he said it was on a rock in the service lot. I was so happy for him. Now his wife would not kill him. Brandon also had some great news. Turns out, the camper we did want was in fact coming in soon, and it did not have a deposit on it , as he had previously thought. He gave us a price, and we said SOLD!! We where the new owners of Grey Wolf 30′ Travel Trailer!


Okay, back on track. We take the 3 1/2 hour drive to Hazard KY, to arrive at Tim Short Dealership. We saw the Jeep Gladiator in the front waiting on us when we pulled in the paring lot. Scott screamed like he had just spun the big wheel on the price as right and won $10,000! It was the easiest transaction of a car we had ever made. In and out in less than 30 minutes! No Shit!

We drove that puppy home and Scott was happier than a dead pig in the sunshine. Turns out the camper took a little longer to be delivered due to a back log on damn water heaters. It ended up taking 3 weeks to come in, but that was okay, we had done without it all our lives, we could wait a few more days. I was so excited when The Hubs went to pick it up, I had to work , so I didn’t get to go with him. He had it set up and ready in our back yard ready for my touring pleasure when I got home from work. First the good news… It looked exactly as the brochure depicted it as, it was shiny and beautiful and had the ” new camper smell”. Now the Bad News. The damn awning didn’t work! It would not retract from the camper. Scott called our local Forrest River dealer, but they couldn’t get in the shop for months, so he called good ole Brandon, and he told us if we could bring It in , they would fix it on the spot, which is what transpired the very next day. They were not able to repair it that day, due to an electrical problem in the wall, so we ended up staying the night in Cookeville, and enjoyed one of our favorite Breweries, Red Silo Brewing Company. It is a great venue and have some awesome beer! Check them out if your ever in cookeville, as well as Jig Head Brewing, which has a great venue too. They are also part of Harvest Hosts.

And that my Kindred is the story of how we came by owning our new upgraded camper that we absolutely love, in the end Brandon did focus, and was reunited with his beloved cell phone.

Thank you all so much for reading our silly little blog, well mine are silly, but all true, you can’t make this shit up. I need to exit stage left now, I need to get me a non alcoholic beverage, I have decided to stop drinking alcohol, that to be discussed in a future blog, and It’s a nice evening to set outside with the critters. Catch y’all yahoos later, until then, Adventure On!

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